Tuesday, March 30, 2010

"i'm having a baby"

"i'm having a baby"

We've had many chats about pregnant women and I've talked to Lilah about how she was in her China Mother's belly and that she was born in China.

There have been lots of babies born in the past nine months: Baby Luke, Baby Zachy, Baby Oliver, Baby Jade and Baby Juliana. All babies that we see and talk about on a fairly regular basis and three of them go to the same Church as us.

So when I went upstairs this morning and found her in her bedroom with Baby Boy (he's a stuffed lamb that she's recently taken an interest in and named 'Baby Boy') pushed up the front of her t-shirt, I should not have been in the least bit surprised. She said to me "I'm having a baby", and 3 seconds later she said "I'm still having a baby" and 3 seconds after that she said "I'm STILL having a baby". It was very cute role play! And so that went on for a while.

Then she asked me to put Baby Boy up my shirt and right after I did it, she asked me to put her up my shirt. I gently told her I couldn't because she was too big and she wasn't a tiny baby anymore. She said to me, "Lilah wasn't in Mama's tummy".

I had no idea she was listening, never mind understanding.

I held her tight, because I had no idea just how much I would hurt for her (or myself), that she will probably never know who her birth Mother is. On the one hand I know nothing of her birth Mother or her circumstances, but on the other hand I know that she carried her daughter for (probably) 9 months and went through the pain of delivery. And I DO know that she chose life for her daughter and I am so very thankful for that. In fact, I didn't fully realize just how thankful I was, until today. Thank you so much for giving our sweet baby girl the gift of life.

"i'm having a baby" "i'm having a baby" "i'm having a baby"

[ more pictures here ]

9 comments:

  1. You should read the latest post at Ni Hao Y'All.

    That is quite the lumpy belly! Very cute.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love that you are already talking with her about this. For so many reasons.

    ReplyDelete
  3. That is so interesting...KAte has not completely made this connection yet but I know it is going to be really hard when she does.


    Kim

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is when I am so thankful that we have a faith perspective to share with our girls one day... I have no doubt that God chose Lilah for you, and you for her! He planned this long ago... This IS her story. This IS the path He chose for her. He knows every hair on her beautiful head, and I pray it will be a comfort to her one day when she trusts just how much her Heavenly Father loves her! And, that one day she will understand we are all adopted!

    And, HE has called you to a very special job... To be her Mother! And, to Love the child that He chose for you Jill! You are doing this so beautifully!

    It's such a blessed call! One I am so thankful for!

    Happy Easter,
    Diana

    Hugs,
    Diana

    ReplyDelete
  5. How sweet! She's adorable with her lumpy belly. :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. What a cute lil' lumpy belly, and what a touching post. I thing I have a few months before we cross this conversational bridge with Kerry for the first time, but when the time comes, I hope I can handle it as beautifully as you.

    Hugs,

    Gin

    ReplyDelete
  7. What a smart little sweetheart! I'm with Diana~ this is when we can be so glad that we know Jesus and have a faith perspective for our children, that we were all adopted as children of God. This was a tear jerker to read. I can only imagine what I will feel when I have 'that' moment with Khloe one day. What a hunny you have!!

    (((hugs)))

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thanks for your words of encouragement girls.

    I'm so glad it happened so naturally and now when Lilah is so young. Just because I didn't realize how hard it would be for me, never mind how hard this will be for her when she fully understands. I kinda held it together at the time, but when she was napping later and I was writing this post and thinking back on it, I definitly wept for my sweet girl and her birth mother too.

    I'm so thankful for the faith perspective we have, as Diana talks about. God truly reveals Himself in a mighty work like this.

    Jill

    ReplyDelete
  9. A very heartfelt post Jill. I think you have done an amazing job creating a supportive, open dialogue with Lilah! What a great gift to give your daughter.

    ReplyDelete