Thursday, April 18, 2013

the deep questions

I adore my Lilah girl. She's a deep thinker and I have to be on my toes when she comes out with her deep questions. Most of the deep questions are related to God, Eternity and Adoption.

Since Phebe's arrival, we've been getting a lot more questions (from strangers) while out and about on our daily travels. Obviously our racial differences beg people to ask about either the girls father's race or if the girls are adopted. So I recently asked Lilah what she'd like me to tell people when they ask us about her and Phebe. She's at an age where I want to include her and I want her opinion on either, a) if she wants me to talk about it and b) if so, what I should say. So we had a discussion on the subject and the reason why people ask these questions. She told me she's okay with me telling them she's from China and she joined our family through adoption. I also get asked a fair bit, if the girls are sisters and I usually just say "They are now" - it seems to satisfy their curiosity.

Just a few days ago Lilah quizzed me on the function of her belly button and we got into a deep discussion about babies in their Mama's belly and all the ins and outs of that. When we'd finished our discussion and how she was in her birth Mama's belly and being fed by her, she said to me: "I wish I was in your belly. I wish I was being fed by you." Sometimes I just feel so unprepared for my deep thinker. I pray for help and wisdom. And there is not a day goes by that I don't thank God for this beautiful girl of mine.

Today, while singing 'The Lord is my Rock', in the car, she asked me: "Is God really our rock?" So I explained to her that a rock is solid, it doesn't move, it's strong and you can depend on it - so it's like the Lord, He's our rock and we can trust and depend on Him. She seemed satisfied with the answer and added... "Yes, and we love the Lord, because He died to take our sins away."

love ♥ love ♥ love ♥ love ♥


  1. What a wonderful little girl you have! I am just beginning this journey of adoption. I like that you have included her in on the discussion on what to say to people. I hadn't even thought to do this when the time comes because I know we too will get asked questions. Thank you!

  2. She's a deep thinker and an absolute doll!

    I pray God continues to give you wisdom and sensitivity as you talk with Lilah (and Phebe as she gets older) about the various things that come up along the way. You handle things with such grace and I am sure that it is a testimony to others who comment or ask questions - even if they weren't expecting it!

    I remember our family encountering many of those sorts of questions/discussions many, many years ago, when, despite living in pretty diverse Southern California, adoption wasn't all that common. Sometimes the things people said were hard not to want to bite your tongue at so you didn't reply in appropriately! :-P

  3. She is one girl who is going to go far... One other thing I learned this past weekend, was that adopted children need to be able to tell their story! Lilah seems very well prepared for this and already comfortable with this and that is awesome!

    And I love her dress!

    1. I totally agree Paige. I read a blog post from Tonggu Mama a long time ago about our children being able to tell their own story - it's so true. They need to have a voice, after all, it's their life we're discussing.

      Her dress is from H&M... I bought it a couple of years ago. :)

  4. Oh goodness... that Lilah is as precious on the inside as she is on the outside :)

  5. Your beautiful girl really is a deep thinker, and you do a wonderful job on responding to her questions. We had a little situation, ourselves, this past week and as Kerry gets older I'm trying to let Kerry dictate more what she's comfortable sharing, too. Like you said, it's their story.